flashback: april 3, 1994

Part of my time is now devoted to church service. Not just the regular mass service as lector or commentator, but as coordinator of the recruitment and training committee of the ministry. A lot has happened since I became member of the committee last year, until now that the training for the second batch is ongoing. I cannot believe how much time and effort I actually spend in the ministry and for the committee. In spite of this, I am not complaining. I look around and I see more people who are more committed than I am. Committed in the sense that they prefer to be behind the scenes than in the limelight. For me that is what real service is about.

How did I become a lector and commentator at the National Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes in the first place? Not many people know the real story, so I thought I’d post it here. By the way, I had to dig into my boxes for my 1994 diary for the precise events that led to my joining the ministry (quoted verbatim, parenthetical italics were added for better understanding of the contexts of events 12 years ago):

3 Apr 1994
I had a very weird Sunday today. My gosh, I guess it had started even yesterday during the Lenten program ‘Paglalakbay sa Buhay Makulay’ (if I could just get a copy of the map to the Buhay Makulay!) It starred Duncan Ramos, Ray-An, Martin etc. It was about a boy who traveled through the colorful world (each color in the map meant something), but first had his sins cleansed, then brought his friend to the same experience. It all hit me, like if a kid like him could be convinced like that, I wasn’t far from being so! It brought me a lot closer to God. That was last night yet. This morning, we went to mass at 11AM. For the 1st time ever in my life, I wore slacks. Paired with sis’ purple rosed blouse. It was cool!

We arrived exactly 11 to find out that the 10AM has not even ended! But we (Dits, ma) made siksik to get seats for our mass which began at 11:20 already. Well, Peace part and I felt the air change. Our Father part and I felt dizzy. Nahihilong nasusuka at nae-LBM. My knees were really wobbling. I waited for the song to end. “May tao na ba sa bahay?” I looked at my mom and sister. I was about to fall, I swear. I held on to the pew. “Nahihilo ka? Wala pang tao dahil na kay Ate mo yung susi.” “Upo ka muna dyan.” Great! I needed to do something. Please! I immediately sat. Mommy dragged me out to fresh air. Dits stayed. I sat where paupers usually did just outside the church side door. While were walking out, my knees really collapsed; good thing I was holding on to mommy. But I didn’t black out. She wanted to bring me farther to a bench, but my knees couldn’t take me there anymore. I begged to stay. Mom allowed me to puke at the shrubs, I thought it was OK too because it was an emergency anyway. I was bowed down to force my puke, I was really worn out, my mom said I was ghastly pale, I was sweating all over, and my mom felt I was cold. I felt really weak, I swear.

I already felt people were looking at me, until this woman who sold sweepstakes handed mom Sanitary Balm. “Ipahid mo ito sa kanya.” She accepted. I wasn’t able to stare at her features; all I saw were her tickets and the ointment. She gave mom instructions on how to do it, but she thought mom didn’t do it quite right, so she did it on me. They had a little chat, but I don’t remember any of it now, if I ever heard any. Something about luck according to my mole, “naamuyan ito,” being inside the church. Her hands were light but they made precise movements. She massaged my nape and the area near my mole. Dits said she made circles with her fingers around my mole. I didn’t even feel it. I wiped my trickling sweat (down the side of my face) then my pukeing sensation was gone. I was still a little dizzy when she stopped. She asked me and I answered truthfully. “Mamaya mawawala na yan.” I was still not aware of my surroundings, so I did not see her after the PT (physical therapy). I heard my Dits though, “Ma bumili ka ng ticket in return.” “Oo sige.”

We did not finish the mass. We proceeded to the benches. I tried to look for the woman, and when I failed, it occurred to me that she might be some kind of ghostly reminder. But quickly dismissed the idea and instead thought I might find her later and buy a ticket as a sign of thanks. The mass was over and we waited, (some parts deleted) Mommy had to go somewhere, but we three looked for her first. Although we didn’t really look thoroughly, she was nowhere in sight. She should’ve been in sight where there were people because she was supposed to be ‘making a living ‘ selling tickets. But we didn’t find her. I wasn’t supposed to give up, but I wanted to go home and my head was still swirling. Walking home, my sister insisted that she was Jesus trying to tell me something, and she said only I knew what it was. On my part, I pitied the woman because she was just a mere vendor and my Dits put all sorts of silly representations into it. It’s not that I’m doubting, but what if it’s not? I haven’t proven it anyway. I wouldn’t believe until I thoroughly search the area and never find her at all. Maybe I’ll do that sometime. I’ll even do interviews about her, and if nobody else has seen her ever, she’s no ordinary vendor, just as Dits had concluded.

We went to Fuentebella (street in Timog area, house of my dad’s tito and tita) at 5PM to pay a visit. They were happy, we ate, then Lola Etta (she passed away a few years ago) told us many stories. She sat with us long enough to tell us her family’s history. (some parts deleted) I learned so much from her. She specified on values formation. And faith. Oh yes, I became emotional about the faith part. “Nilalang ako ng Diyos, kaya hindi Nya ako papabayaan.” “Magpasalamat tayo sa lahat ng bagay, lahat ay bigay Nya.” “Kumapit ka lang sa Kanya.” The couple has strong faith. They made mine stronger. (some parts deleted) On our Mayon (street/jeep terminal to our house) ride, 3 girls were talking about Bible verses. They were about my age, but they memorize a few Bible verses. I dunno their business, but I was touched that teenagers my age actually have time for the Bible! What is this, another point to persuade me? Three experiences in a day! Too amazing to be true! (the rest of the journal entry no longer relevant to topic..)

So forward to the present day… that was, I think, the turning point of my ‘faith’ life. That summer, I had just graduated from high school and was looking for a summer job, just as I had been doing for the past two summers. But that same year, almost two months after that decisive day, there was an announcement during Sunday mass that they needed lectors and commentators for our parish. I thought that this was another calling to me. So I applied. The rest, as they say… you know what they say..