after he stops crying, i cry

rands and i thought it a good idea to enrol aren in a summer program like a structured class in order to prepare him for preschool. having been born in january, his age is the cutoff for preschool requirements, such that he will either be the youngest in his class if we enrol him this school year and risk being academically behind, or he will be the oldest in his class if we enrol him next year, but he might have a better chance to be able to cope. we also wanted him to learn to socialize and improve his expressive speech.

in november, we signed him up for such a program, but it was too far from our house and aren got past the 1st session only -- it was always a crying bout for us to force him to even enter the classroom. we eventually stopped trying.

prior to 1st day in cdc, we visited the classroom twice in order to familiarize him with the atmosphere. on april 16, he entered the classroom but cried for the first few minutes. he warmed up to the teacher but did not participate very much in the activities. on the second day, he almost did not enter the classroom, but i coaxed him by mentioning that he will play in the slide later on. teacher let me take him inside the classroom but i left him there immediately. he cried for the first few minutes of free time.

on the third day, we entered together, but when i said goodbye to him, he started crying and teacher immediately took him away. on the 4th day, we entered the classroom together and teacher greeted him, he reached for her hand and went to look for activities inside. no tears! even the teacher was surprised and looked back to me smiling. i almost could not believe it either! my little boy has grown up.

(Teacher picked him as weather watcher for the day!)

throughout the session, i watched from the observation deck and saw that he has started to follow the actions of the songs, did the art projects by himself, wandered around the room exploring things. in time, he will integrate himself fully with his classmates and teachers. the day he stopped crying, it was my turn.

little star!

his own version of twinkle twinkle little star :) his words are not clear yet, but i'm proud of him just the same -- good job for someone who's not very musically-inclined :)

don't worry anak, we'll work on your expressive speech asap... no time to lose!

collection

i don't collect a lot of things. when i was younger, i was a sticker and stationery addict (like probably many of girls of my generation). in fact, some of them were very special that i still have them until now, unused.

as far as i remember, i didn't have any other collection, like say, barbie dolls, video games, hair clips, shoes, or bags. even in my adulthood and capable of buying my own stuff, i did not have the "mentality" of buying just to collect. i hardly wear makeup, i'm not into clothes fads, my feet are too big for designer shoes, i can be contented with cloth bags for my everyday use.

however, i do have one collection, that was not even from my own initiative of starting. presenting, my agatha christie paperbacks....



when i was in college, my sister's best friend lent her a book, which i borrowed later. i loved the plot so much that i started to get interested in murder mysteries, especially agatha christie. the book that started it all for me was "the body in the library." then i started borrowing from the... eherm, library. i love hercule poirot, her sleuth character! i'm learning about the art of deduction by reading them.

i did not buy my first personal copy until i was already working. and even then, i bought second hand ones only. after all, the author has long since been dead and never again published new works. her books were decades old. rands picked up my interest and slowly procured the books for me. he went through every booksale outlet, curio shop, art store, and just about any tiangge that sold second hand books, and bought all the agatha christies there! he would give them to me on special occasions as gifts; i wrote on the first page the date that i received them... as far as i know, the early dates were 2005.

i would read one book when i travelled to work. when i finished, i would immediately get another one from the pile. i would know that i had read that book through the bus ticket that i had inserted as marker. it also served as date when i finished reading it! i wanted to finish the entire collection asap!

unfortunately after i got married, i left my collection in our house when i moved out. i had forgotten about it all throughout my pregnancy and taking care of my baby. however, now that my son is already 3 years old, i suddenly craved for the habit of reading again. going through the books, many of them had no bus tickets inserted yet, or many still in plastic wrap... yup, it won't be long until you are all read, mon ami!

since the last post

here are some developments regarding aren since my last post:

1. he knows how to poop in the potty already! hasn't pooped in his diaper for over a month.
2. we wear diapers only during afternoon nap or sleeping at night or going out. (yey for our budget!)
3. it was my first time to literally step on po-p in the bedroom hahahah! i was crazy tired that afternoon, i fell asleep while he was playing, only to wake up a few minutes later with him already napping beside me. i stood up, my foot squished something soft and cold (we don't eat in the bedroom, so it's not food). i was so surprised, and later amused.
4. he can already pee in the toilet! since our last potty training, he can already pee standing up, and this time he does it in the big bowl itself! which brings me to the next item....
5. he's grown an inch in a month! we record his height every month on his birthdate, and for the past year, he has been registering only a few centimeters every month. i was so surprised to see the last improvement!
6. could it be his milk? for almost two months already, i've been slowly changing his milk from enfagrow a+ to nido 3+. for the first week, i replaced one scoop of formula with one scoop of nido. the next week, i replaced two scoops, then three, until finally, we're down to the last pouch of formula that i plan to still mix (half scoop) with his nido. i had no problems introducing the new milk because he never noticed the difference!
7. for the first time, i was poked in the forehead with a ballpen. yes, it bled.
8. he can spell his name (the four letters at least).

still a long way to go with other milestones. talking for instance... we barely are a month away from his 3rd birthday and he's still not speaking clearly. i still think he's going to do so in time... but part of me is already worrying...

my other projects are (still) getting him to eat regular meals during mealtimes, getting him to take vitamins and meds from a spoon. next up, i hope we can be totally diaper-free forever and not have accidents, i hope we can totally discard the bottles and drink milk from a cup/glass, i hope we can appreciate coloring/music more.

and yes, the talking. ok ok judge me and my parenting... *sigh*

success is spelled with a p

for my long sem break, i had planned on lots of training activities for aren. but two days before i return to work, i have been successful with one only --- potty training :)

however, not entirely too, because he refuses to sit for poop time. (i feel i have to defend myself with this because aren is slightly constipated because of his diet, so he doesn't poop on a regular basis, which makes it a little harder to "practice" on the potty. ok more on my diet woes later... in fact that was one of my other plans in the list) so my success with the potty is for pee! i consider this quite an achievement for my part because i do not have the same "elements" as aren that he can model. it was all basically routinary, and it was easier because he had all the readiness signs:

-irritated at the feeling of a wet diaper

-can stay dry for at least an hour at a time

-although he cannot speak clearly yet, he can signify his intention of going to the bathroom

-can pull his own shorts/pajama down

after all, he was already 2 years and 9 months old. actually, i have tried starting this before, but a weekend did not seem enough, and online literature said it was a bad idea to "start and stop" when it came to potty training. but slowly, my mom and i took off his diaper in the morning and asked him once in a while if he needed to pee. a few months ago, we always had accidents, but we simply considered it as part of the process.

day 1 of my sem break, i was determined to take this seriously. he took my hand to the bathroom and peed on the floor. that day he pooped squatting on the bathroom floor because he vehemently did not want to sit on the potty (at least it's a start, he didn't need the diaper anymore!). as the days progressed, he began to pee into the potty, he pulled down his shorts by himself, did not have to need the diaper while napping or at night (actually i'm still scared about this. i've tried it only once, and i still put a diaper on him when he's still sleeping), tried to pee into the big toilet bowl. until one time, i was in the kitchen and he was left alone for a while in the room when i heard the bathroom door pushed open. i rushed up and i saw him with his shorts on the floor, aiming for the potty! i was soooo amazed! he did not have to take my hand to take him to the bathroom! what a big boy!

i admit we're still not 100% diaperless yet. like i said, we still have to master pooping in the potty. we're still wearing diapers while napping and sleeping at night and when going out for errands or a trip. but for me, it has been a big improvement! that's 2-3 less diapers during the day, which is very timely because i just discovered that our brand has raised its price last week! and also, less nonbiodegradable trash for landfills.

well, the other plans in my list can wait, probably during the next long weekend. but it doesn't mean i will stop trying. the key i think is to set a routine for toddlers. after a few days they will realize that you will never stop or give up on what you want them to master, so maybe, just maybe they will pick up the hint. (i'm really crossing my fingers! because the others in my list are really important ones! sort of life and death sometimes :)

ms universe

It's like I won Miss Universe....

I don't know but that's how I feel :)

Maybe it's because I've never won too many raffles or contests in my life, or because I didn't have to do so much to comply with the requirements asked for.

I feel like it's a really big blessing... like a reward for all the effort I've so far put into thesis writing.

After all, a grant is no joke, I mean, all the money I spend for reproduction of materials, printing of drafts, transportation and communication expenses, representation allowance (i.e., tokens to respondents or special people who have helped me).

Well, an announcement that is posted on the bulletin board outside the Office of the College Secretary is different from a real check that I'm holding in my hands. Hmmm, let's wait and see....

embarrassing

a situation is considered embarrassing because of the very reason that it happened in a public place with a handful or lots of other people to witness it.

here are a few of my most recent ones:

1. while waiting in the jeepney stop one morning, i spotted a couple (probably in their 20s) a few steps away from the crowd. a few minutes later, a woman probably in her 40s dashed over to the couple and started pulling the girl's hair (which was long by the way) angrily while screaming expletives! the poor guy tried in vain to pull the older woman's hands off the younger woman's hair. the crowd simply looked on because it was obviously a domestic altercation. after a few more minutes, an elderly man approached the trio and gently told them to break it up. the couple walked away but i can just imagine their humiliation.

2. in the mrt a few weeks ago, a skip train came and everyone scrambled to get in as the train doors opened. i accidentally stepped on the sandal of the woman in front of me. i was so embarrassed because (i) she stopped in her tracks, blocking the way of others who were trying to get in, (ii) i still took the empty spot that was "supposedly" for her because she was ahead of me, (iii) she ended up standing and she whipped out flipflops from her bag because her sandal straps ripped. i apologized to her but i still felt bad. i got my due the following week when i wore a pair of sandals i hadn't worn for a long time, and the straps promptly pulled out from the soles just as i was boarding the mrt on my way to work that morning!

3. our school had its institutional outing at splash island last week. the daredevils that we are, my friends and i tried every slide in the facility. in king pilipit, people had to slide one at a time. i mustered my guts and went first. it was hell scary! it had to be done lying flat because for the first few feet the slide was covered, so when i pushed myself down, there was no turning back! and i was sliding really fast. after what seemed like an eternity, i reached the "open" part of the slide, and i was already anticipating my splash. but i had to go through a few more turns before i finally saw the pool at the end. i pinched my nose with two fingers as i went into the water... before i realized it, i was drowning! i was flapping my arms under the water, and i felt like i was struggling for several minutes to reach the surface. i was able to grab hold of something, which turned out to be the buoy of the lifeguard. i was so embarrassed because the pool was nowhere above five feet deep, and that in my struggle in the water, i didn't notice that my top (which was loose to begin with) had...uhurm... displaced, and as i gasped for air, no one knows how many of the handful of people sitting at the side of the pool saw my wardrobe malfunction, and how many of them passed the story on to their friends. (my friends did not notice it though)

i still think king pilipit is the best slide among those i tried in splash island. :)

letters and numbers

(pardon the voice.... just a little excited... ok, super excited!)

the face

(taken three separate days)

yup, at 2 years and 3 months, this is how he smiles in front of the camera.

he has been doing the face for a few weeks when i found out last week how he discovered it...

he was playing, i whipped out my cellphone (thus the crappy resolution) and said "aren, smile!" he looked at me and smiled that way, when i realized he was only imitating me!!! i was smiling exactly the same way!!

tsk tsk... i have to start being careful what i do in the kid's presence.

aren's first visit to mommy's office

yes it was almost two years after he was born that aren got to visit mommy's office for the first time.

flashback: december 2010. institutional christmas party at the sports pavilion. (thanks for the photos, tita amy!)

the visit was meant to be a very memorable one, too. when we were about to exit the village, rands was given the wrong driver's license. he called the attention of the person in charge at the gate, and we were asked to wait on the side while they sorted out the problem. out of the many people who were going in and out of the village that day, it had to happen that rands' license was given to the wrong person, who was a taxi driver who could have been anywhere in the country at that moment! it was already getting dark, and the two kids in the car were getting restless. they were trying to figure out the best thing to do to address the situation. we the adults were on the verge of losing our patience.

as a temporary measure, they wrote a certification in their office (which took 30 minutes i think) that it was "their fault" that rands was driving without his license. they asked for my name and promised that they will give back my husband's license the following morning. we also got their names, and they knew that they have "no escape" because they and the security in our school were from the same agency.

true enough the following morning, barely 8 am, the same guy who was head of the shift during our ordeal, came to our office and handed me rands' license. he shared that they sent a couple of people to the taxi driver's house (thankfully the address in the license was recent!) and waited there until late at night for the driver to come home and exchange licenses.

lesson: please always ALWAYS check the license you are handed back. or any ID for that matter. i'm sure it was such a hassle for them to do what they did, but i was thankful, and they were apologetic anyway. i told them i perfectly understood that mistakes such as putting the licenses in the wrong pass slots can happen on days when there are a lot of cars getting in and out of the village, especially during christmas season.

two years old!

celebrated aren's second birthday with a simple gathering with our families.

chocolate cake from "tita c's homemade cakes"

we had no decors, music, balloons (well, ok just a few pieces), but the little ones were happy to be playing with one another.

tito jojo teaching aren the "anyong" pose his twins have perfected

two months before january 15, we experienced a lot of hospital scares, disorders, illnesses, infections, viruses, bacteria (and he even actually had diarrhea during the party! haha). but now i'm just looking at all of those experiences as a rite of passage... he seems ok now (so far, hopefully no more sicky!)



you're two now, baby! not quite a baby anymore, but not really a toddler yet (that didn't sound right ahahha, but that's how mommy feels).

eating chocolate icing out of his candle (thanks tita gigi!)

turnstile tip

Two days ago on my way to work, the MRT was stuck at Guadalupe Station because of a defective train in front of us. For lack of anything better to do, I found myself observing the people who were coming into the station from the northbound side, more particularly the passengers passing through the turnstiles.

For the five or so minutes we were stranded, there may have been hundreds of people who entered the station, and yet I was able to count only probably 20 or less who DID NOT hold the turnstile with their hand to get through.

Personally, I never touch turnstiles with my hand, even in groceries or other public places. I got this tip from my sister many years ago, even before the H1N1 scare, that these things may contain germs as they are being touched by thousands of people everyday.

That's why when I pass through turnstiles, I just bump it with my hip or tummy... it turns just the same way! Look ma, no hands! That's one less exposure to hand-transmitted germs! :)

happy new year!

happy 2011 everybody! happy!!




btw, he's not really two yet... we're just practicing before the big day arrives.

Yet another hospital episode

Should I say, hospitals. The past two weeks was sick sick sick for many of us in the family. And I thought Aren’s febrile convulsion was the last I had to see of the ER.

The viruses were very active, that we were actually misdiagnosed the first time.

Sunday Nov28, Renzo developed sores on his hands and around his mouth. The UDMC ER diagnosed him with herpes simplex, a disease he has had when he was still a baby.

Tuesday Nov30, I developed red splotches on my back and thighs. I was given anti-itch meds and lotion.

That night, Aren and Ria developed on-off high fever. They probably caught the virus while we were waiting in UDMC. They were monitored and given paracetamol in their respective houses.

Wednesday Dec1, my rashes had spread to my neck and arms so I went to the Capitol Medical ER for some tests. I was given a medical certificate for measles and was asked to isolate myself from others, 2-3 days of bedrest.

That day, Renzo developed very bad diarrhea that he could not leave the house for further tests. Ria was taken to the pedia to be checked. She was diagnosed with the same disorder as her brother.

That night, Aren had developed rashes at his back.

Thursday Dec2, I was still on bedrest. My body was weak and I had no appetite. Renzo was taken to the National Children’s Hospital Infectious Diseases Center, where he was diagnosed to have HFMD, or hand-foot-mouth disease. This explained why he had no rashes in other parts of his body.

That same afternoon, Rands took Aren to the Valucare clinic in Capitol Medical, where, after blood test, a pedia diagnosed him with roseola infantum, and was given antibiotics.

My other nephew had been staying in our house that week, so we had to send him home that night for him to avoid the virus.

Friday Dec3, Ria had started to show the same symptoms of HFMD. She had contracted it from her brother probably for sharing a drink.

Saturday Dec4, I had my follow up at the Valucare clinic in Capitol, where a derma told me that I did not have measles all along! That I missed holding my son for three days for nothing! Although my condition was still a mystery, because my skin was very red, but the blood test did not reflect any significant disorder, except for a virus. She gave me antibiotics, steroids, and anti-itch, and scheduled me for a followup after one week.

The week that followed consisted of mainly round the clock medicines. Aren’s rashes are slowly fading. My skin is still peeling in most parts, even in my scalp!! I’ve been shedding all around the house and office, and it’s very itchy!! Ria’s and Renzo’s dried skin was tougher --- my sister said she had to use nail clipper to trim it off!! I cannot imagine!

I cannot stress this enough…… please please take care of your health. Viruses have become more mutant, and they can strike anywhere anytime, especially when your body is at is most vulnerable. Eat healthy and rest well, take supplements if necessary. Our loved ones would need us, so we have to stay healthy (and sane!) for them.

1st (and hopefully the last!) convulsion scare

It was a lesson learned the hard way. I had to admit that I was largely at fault for what turned out to be the scariest weekend I’ve ever had in my life so far.

Thursday, November 18

I came home that night and found Aren and tatay watching tv as usual. Around 7pm, we felt that he was a little feverish, but he did not seem pale or weak. We decided not to give him his nightly shower, not even sponge bath. At 9pm after his pre-sleep milk, we took his temperature and recorded 39.1. Rands asked me, “Di pa ba natin bibigyan ng gamot?” I said, “Observe muna natin,” and recorded his temperature in a notebook. Aren fell asleep then.

At around 10pm when we were about to sleep, we took his temp again and this time recorded a 38.6. I don’t know what the hell came over me that I did not even bother to give him paracetamol! I still just recorded that in the notebook and went to sleep, probably half-thinking that it would still go down that night.


Friday, November 19

I woke up suddenly and Rands was hovering over Aren. Then I saw a horrifying scene: my almost two-year-old baby still lying on the bed, had his shaking arms stretched up in the air, fists clenched, whole body shaking, eyes rolling up, making soft grunting sounds. Rands was calling to him, in an effort to make the shaking stop. My instinct made me pick him up and hold him close to me, then I felt his body was very very hot. I glanced at the clock: it was 1:30am.

Rands woke my parents up and ran to get a basin of water and a spoon to put in Aren’s mouth. The shaking stopped after a few minutes (it could’ve been seconds, I don’t remember), and we decided to rush him to the hospital. I was holding him while Rands ran to get a taxi and my mom put his bag together and my dad was wiping his arms with cold towel. I was hugging him and talking to him, practically begging him to respond, but his eyes were a blank stare.

When the taxi came, my mom took Aren and wrapped him in a blanket while Rands and I got dressed and put together a bag. We decided to take him to UDMC, where my pregnancy and childbirth records were. At the taxi, we were trying to stimulate his reaction by talking to him the whole time, but he was still staring. Then he vomited in the blanket.

In the emergency room, when I put him down on the bed, he started to cry and shouted “Mommy!” It was my first smile since the incident! It only meant that he was well enough to react to stimulus already! They inserted a suppository for his fever and it immediately went down. I removed the puke-stained shirt and blanket, and they gave me a hospital gown. It was my first time to see a hospital gown so small, and it was on my baby!

Aren in the ER in a small hospital gown and oxygen mask


While Rands filled out forms, the residents were asking us routine questions about the incident. Somebody asked, “Anong oras yung huling paracetamol nya?” I was horrified! I hadn’t given him paracetamol at all! I realized at that point that I could’ve prevented the whole thing if I had listened to Rands about giving it! I felt so guilty!

We were told that usually when it was the first episode of convulsion, they advised admitting the patient for monitoring. We did not think twice, Rands secured us a room using Aren’s healthcard. Then they said they had to attach an IV to his little hand! I did not dare look while they did, I was just whispering calmly to Aren the whole time. The resident asked for a spare diaper to put over his hand so he would not play with the needle. We called it his Manny Pacquiao glove.



Aren's Manny Pacquiao glove (a diaper over his IV)

Aren was so cranky that I put him to sleep while waiting for our turn in the x-ray. They also asked us to put the oxygen mask on him. After only a few minutes of sleep, we had to be wheeled to the x-ray. Rands and I were asked to wear blue heavy suits for protection, while we restrained Aren on the flat surface (I wouldn’t call it a bed at all!). We were just telling him that it will be one big camera and he had to smile. As expected, we could not hold him still, so the procedure had to be repeated. To think that a front and lateral x-ray had to be taken! Aren was so stressed! Luckily, he was calmer during the second take, so the technician was able to get a better shot.

After that, we were wheeled to the 6th floor. Our room was a small private, and we were told that we were in priority waitlist for the big private. For the hours that followed, Aren would be able to fall asleep, but then had to be woken up for temp-taking or an oral dose of paracetamol, which had to be given round the clock. He was also given a regular dose of diazepam, an anti-seizure drug, through his IV.

We were told that Aren was not supposed to be given any food or drink because he would be due for a blood test at 8am. But he woke up again at around 5am, his usual milk time. He was crying uncontrollably, so we tried to distract him. I went to the nurse station to ask if it was possible for us to give him just a small amount, and the resident conceded, but to 4oz only, which was enough to put him back to sleep.

A nurse checked his IV and discovered that his arm was swelling due to the vein. Imagine my horror when they said they had to transfer the IV to his other hand! I was about to protest but they said the swelling might cause a fever, so they removed the needle from his left hand and he was temporarily IV-free. Lola Nits came with his Simba, books, and more supplies. Simba would help alleviate his anxiety during procedures, and reading books will pass the time as we did not have TV in the room.

Aren reading one of his favorite books

At around 8:30am, laboratory came to our room to draw blood. Again, it was just a little prick on the left ring finger, but I did not dare look. A little later, they asked me to take him to the nurse station treatment room so they can attach the IV to his right hand. When I put him on the bed, they asked me to leave the room!! Again I was about to protest, but good thing, there was a small gap in the glass, so I was able to see what they were doing inside. Apart from the prick, Aren was behaved, and the resident told me so. I was smiling as I watched.

Where the first IV used to be, and the prick on his fingertip for blood test

That day, it was mostly routine temperature checks and administration of medicines. Some of our relatives came, and we were able to take a short nap. Aren was irritable most of the day. It was so hard to restrain him especially with the IV; it would backflow often. In the afternoon, he asked for pancit and we fed him for as long as he was eating! We didn’t know when he would have such an appetite again!

Very hungry but very groggy (very cute)

He was given his last dose of diazepam and paracetamol before we went to sleep that night. The temp checks were the funniest --- Aren did not register higher than 37 degrees at all! Rands slept beside him on the bed and I on the bench which I pulled near the bed.

Saturday, November 20

The routine checks went on throughout the night, and at one point, a nurse informed me that she had to put Aren under a drop light, much like incubating chicks, because his body was undergoing hypothermia. She even turned the aircon down to fan.

Aren under a drop light to heat up his body

I asked for several changes of hospital gown because Aren would be drenched in sweat often. The shirts we had were no good because the IV bottle did not fit the armhole. In the morning, Aren and tatay woke up late and had a few bites to eat. The residents told us that the x-ray was negative for respiratory problems, the blood test was negative for infection, and his urine was cleared too. After reading his books, Aren was napping again. This gave us time to fix the billing.

When the pedia came in, I asked if we could be discharged already. We were running out of supplies. Besides, his fever did not rise and all his tests were negative. She prescribed us with paracetamol for temp of 37.5, and ibuprofen for temp of 38.5. Needless to say, we had to take his temperature round the clock.

We came home to Ate Ria and Lola’s spaghetti waiting for us. As soon as he saw the TV and his toys, he went wild with excitement! But we had to hold him because he was still a bit groggy from the meds. It was as if he was not well-coordinated yet. Tatay researched for sites on febrile convulsion, and we learned a lot of many things about it.

Sunday, November 21

Aren’s temp registered between 35 -36 plus throughout the night and the following day. We did not leave the house to even go to church because we wanted him to rest. We did not even allow him out of the house. We noticed that his balance has not returned to normal pre-seizure. We started to worry because he was irritable as he was in the hospital. When he threw tantrums, it was as if the meds made him mutant! We could hardly contain him!


As of this writing, Aren’s balance has returned. We excitedly greeted him, “Welcome back!” We sent him out of the house to play. We had given him a bath. I myself was able to take my much needed bath (my last was Thursday morning! That was why the shampoo did not lather at all! Hahahahha)

Once again, the lessons…. The very important learnings from the experience:
- NUMBER 1: a temperature of 37 plus is already high for toddlers! Give paracetamol at the onset of fever! By all means, do everything to keep the fever down, including spongebath with cold water, not with alcohol that may raise the fever.
- Do not attempt to stop the seizure while it is occurring (yes, we did this!) because it will subside naturally, just make sure that your baby does not injure himself: clear his surroundings of heavy or sharp objects, support his head from a hard surface, do not put a spoon in his mouth (yes we did this too!) because he might bite it hard and break his teeth.
- If your baby vomits or mucus or saliva accumulates in his mouth, turn him to his side so he doesn’t choke on it. This is also to let his tongue drop and not block his airway.
- Rush him to the nearest hospital. Always have an emergency bag prepared, with baby’s clothes, diapers, burp clothes, etc. Always put water in your feeding bottles and milk in your dispensers (if you’re not exclusively breastfeeding).
- Always keep important documents in your wallet and bag (such as healthcard and emergency phone numbers). Always keep your phone charged (yes both of our phones were drained, as in drained…). Always keep a small amount of extra cash at home.

- There is a history of convulsions in Rands' side of the family, and boys are more prone to them than girls. We can have another episode of fever-induced seizure until he is around 6 years old.

- We will have him checked for any symptom of seizures that is not fever-induced, which are more fatal.

It’s starting

The moment he was able to say “mommy” as a single word (read: no pause between syllables), it started --- the “talking.” It is not quite like blabbering anymore, but not yet as clear as we speak it. However, we who are with him most of the time know exactly what he means. It’s amazing how he communicates with us; if a few months ago he would take our hand to lead us to where he wants to go or what he wants to do, now he can just “say” it to us and we would understand him.

I am simply amazed at this milestone. For the past weeks, he cannot stop “talking!” (I still keep the quotation marks because it is still not the talking as we know it, so let us not get confused here…) It is such a joy to communicate with him because I know in my heart that he understands me, and he replies or answers back. And it is not a “made-up” answer… it is a real reply, as in logical and reality-based!

To first time parents who have yet to experience this, let me share what I have learned so far:
-Do not underestimate your child’s ability to understand you. Even as early as weeks old, talk to him like you would to a normal adult. Narrate the day’s events to him. Even if he does not so much grunt or coo, just go on talking.
-When he gets a little older and starts to blabber, engage him in conversation, meaning ask him something and give him time to respond. Maintain eye contact, and sometimes, you can even exaggerate your movements and tone of voice. In time, he will get to learn to finish your sentences, as long as you give him response time. Never mind if they are just unintelligible sounds! This simply means your child is expressing his desire to communicate with you.
-When he learns to point, he will become more expressive. If you have picture books, point to him each picture and say the name. Sometimes, he will point and look at you to say the name of the picture. In time, he will point AND say the name, even if it is just the last syllable or just sounds like the real word.
-Make it a point to introduce new people by name. Bonus point for people who visit your child regularly or whom your child regularly sees or has contact with. In time, he will be calling them by the last syllable of their name, or something that sounds like. Tip: in the presence of your child, call the person how you want your child to call the person, e.g., Tatay, Lolo, Tita Gigi, etc.

Right now, Aren is in the last-syllable or sounds-like stage. Offhand, some of his one syllable words lately are dilk (milk hahah this is the cutest!), tay (tatay rands), bye, dit (pancit).

Some of his two syllable words aside from mommy are Iya (Ate Ria), Didi (Tita Gigi), rara (dog, my current project is to correct this!), bi-truh (big truck or other form of transpo), ba-uhm (bathroom), ee-ee (wee-wee).

Yes, he has three syllables, but these are just contracted forms: ba-ba-bus (bbye bus), boo-rara (peekaboo dog), mommy-tay (mommy and tatay), ya-ya-dig (yah yah tigidig-tigidig when playing horse with mommy or tatay).

I am amazed by the fact that I actually understand him even if his words may not mean anything to other people. If he “speaks” a new word, I ask him to point to it, or if it cannot be pointed to, I ask him to repeat it and I wrack my brains for what it may mean. Then most of the time, I get it. Then I smile… it means we have a connection… I understand him.

A year after

Ondoy was a traumatic experience for many Filipino families. Mine was no exception. I was not able to write about it right after it happened because of the shock and disbelief; I was not even able to take photos for remembrance or for evidence, because everything happened so fast.

For us, it was just another typhoon, because we have grown quite used to the idea that nonstop rains meant that floodwaters would again be entering our house. As far as I can recall the events of that fateful Saturday morning of September 27, 2009:

· We had started to move our things up to the second floor when the rains fell; at 10am the floodwaters started coming into the house; the power was cut off when the waters reached the sockets.
· I wore then 8-month-old Aren in a carrier while I arranged things in the bedrooms to accommodate bigger items, and as my mom and our helper brought them up. We left the living and dining sets, heavy tables, the ref, and other stuff that were ok to sink in floodwaters.
· The waters steadily rose as the rains fell throughout the afternoon; we helplessly looked out the window at how high the floods in the streets were; good thing my phone was fully charged enough to be able to reply to calls and texts from tatay and concerned friends.
· Good thing we had a few supplies of biscuits and bread. We ate from paper plates on the second floor. Good thing, too, we have just sterilized Aren’s bottles the night before. I peed in his used diapers.
· When I scanned the first floor with a flashlight once, among the things I saw above the water were the LPG tank floating among other plastics, the top half of the main switch, part of the cupboards where I kept two big cans of Aren’s milk, top half of our framed decors.
· Good thing Aren was not walking then yet, or he would have insisted on going down! However, it was also hard to play with him on the bed the whole day to keep his attention, and stay awake just to fan him the whole night.
· By nightfall, the rains had slowed down but had not stopped completely. Our terrified neighbor was calling through the window for us not to leave her and her year-old grandson and helper behind.
· We heard people from the back apartment packing food and clothes and getting “picked up” with a large salbabida. Our other neighbor had also called for help and was picked up at around 7pm. It was then that we realized that if the rains did not stop, we could be trapped too. I had also started packing Aren’s bag, and my bag, and talking with my mother about our options for rescue.
· Luckily, the rains stopped at around 8pm, and the floodwaters started to subside shortly after. We just picked up the main furniture and gave the first floor a quick rinse and sweep, but we had to sleep to regain our energy for cleaning the next day.

Aren had no choice but to stay in the second floor with my mom for another day while we were cleaning. When the electricity was safe to use, we turned on the tv and saw telethons! It was then that I realized that it was a nationwide disaster! Not just a thing that we considered normal.

It took us days to clean up entirely. We had to throw away many items, as many other victims were forced to. Many of our sockets got busted. Our relatives in other parts of Quezon City were luckier than we were; some of them did not see a single inch of water inside their house. We started to develop a contingency plan; my mom said in another impending typhoon, she would take my baby and his bag to my sister’s in Tandang Sora. She did not want another Ondoy.

Neither did I. It was the main reason why we decided to leave the comfortable, ideally-located apartment that we stayed in for 35 years. I had a baby and my parents were not getting any younger. We can no longer afford to move our things from the first floor to the second floor everytime rains would start pouring. Our peace of mind was far more valuable. Despite the slightly more expensive rent, I have no regrets.

The sweetest sound

I got a ym the other day while I was at work...

Rands: matutuwa ka kay Aren pag-uwi mo
Nades: bakit?
Rands: buo nya na yung “ma-mi”

(in my previous posts I have been open in saying that Aren has not been talking clearly yet, and that I am not worried [yet]. Since he was about 15 months, he has been saying “ma” to refer to me.)

Needless to say, it made my day. Early as it was, I was excited to go home. Finally, it was the moment... Rands asked Aren that night, “sino daw ‘to?" (pointing to me)...

...Aren: “Di yan” (scuttles away)

Yes, the bubble was burst... Aren has learned to say “di yan” earlier than the other words, so he uses that expression often, but it’s cute sometimes. Just not when he is being asked to say “mommy” though. So we didn’t push it. We know him better.

Two nights later, when I came home, he digs into my bag and finds my ID. We were all watching the news, when suddenly i heard it, “Ma-mee.”

My heart leapt!

It took a second for me to realize it, but I’m sure I heard it. He was looking at my picture and recognized me. All I was able to say was “woooooow!” and I hugged him.

It was the sweetest sound I have ever heard in years. Wow, so that was what it felt like...

Since then, he has said it a couple or so times a day. Not really to call me, but when Rands points to my picture and asks him who that is.

No matter... he doesn’t have to call me because my attention is all his every day that I am home.

When my sister heard it, she said, “naku once nagstart na yan marunong magsabi ng mommy...”

I know what she means. I’m not sure I’m ready for that, but so far, I’m loving this new development.

sad farewell

this month i finally gave it up... i finally admitted to myself that it is truly gone... forever...

my good ol' digicam has finally retired.

it was the newest release of canon when i bought it (well, charged it to my cousin's credit card is more like it). the ixus izoom. circa 2006.

it took a whole lot of photos in its heyday. when i got it, we snap-happy girls at the office went crazy over the multiple-shots setting. we learned how to pose slightly differently for 10 consecutive shots!

it was part of every special occasion in the office, among our relatives, even among rands' relatives. it has travelled far and wide, the farthest was singapore last year. it was indispensable. it was compact and light, had a neck-chain, very convenient.

until a few years ago when my officemates started having their own cameras. my izoom started to "lie low." then it became active again when aren was born. it played a very important part in aren's life since day 1. we took photos and videos of him everyday using that digicam.

however, i also abused it somehow. i just slipped it in my bag or pocket sometimes without the case. when aren was old enough to be able to grasp it, heaven forbid what he does to it.

a few months ago it started to crank out. the lens did not open anymore when i turned the camera on, so i had to "pull" it out. oh my heart bleeds everytime i did, but it was the only way we can get to use it.

until slowly by the day, it refused to open... the last time i remember using it was during rands' birthday (september 4)... after that, it was just sitting at the dresser. no one paying any attention to it, not even aren who used to beg me to let him have it.

feb23 2010: please pardon my speaking lines here, the point is that i was trying to deviate aren's attention, who was trying to grab the camera from my hand!

im so sad. it seems a part of me has died. my ixus izoom was a witness to most of my recent special memories. it was able to capture them beautifully.

recently we have resorted to using the cellphone to take pics and vids of aren...but they are never quite the same as those taken by my izoom.

thanks for all the wonderful memories.

buwan ng wika

august is buwan ng wika, and in true pinoy fashion, our school culminates it with a day where all students and employees dress up in "kasuotang pilipino."

being real troupers that we are, our office "karirs" it. (hehe if there is such a word...) in fact, yours truly even won the best in costume once...and to think i didn't even put in too much effort on the accessories... :)

this may be a little late, but i'm kinda proud that the filipino departments organize this every year. our students have to be made aware of and appreciate the filipino language and everything in our culture and history.

2008 (i was around 4 months pregnant here. i wore my mom's filipiniana costume when she was younger)

2009 (the dress i wore was like also my cousin's ball costume in the states and sent it here thru balikbayan box)

2010 (we went for the muslim-inspired look this year)