"you can mistake them for gas or hunger pains..."

i read in the book what to expect when you're expecting that at the start of the 2nd trimester of pregnancy, the baby's movements can be faintly felt already. for a first time mom, the movements may even be mistaken for gas or hunger pains. very interesting... in fact, i have had the pleasure of experiencing this already!

yes, rands and i are 19 weeks (more or less) on the way!! so much has happened since the day i confirmed the pregnancy via a home test kit i performed at the toilet of healthway town center. rands was obviously in singapore... i texted everybody about the good news, and deliberately left him out. the next morning i emailed him a photo of the pregtest with the subject "news!" and the caption "are you ready for this?" and he replied with "omg!"
i've cried a couple or so nights already because i'm still overwhelmed by the fact that i was chosen to harbor a real life life inside of me, that there is really a life growing inside of me. what an overwhelming responsibility! every night when i pray, i vow to the heavens that i will do everything in my power to protect that little life in me. so far, our guardian angels and st. gerard majella have been the best!

rands has been in touch everyday. since i broke the news to him, he has come home two times already (di naman halatang excited at nami-miss kami noh?). he (said he) still loves me inspite of my inflamed gums, bulging tummy, and peklat sa legs! (more on my seemingly-endless pregnancy-related infirmities later...) we love you too "tatay"!

flashback: december 20, 2007

december 20 is my eldest sister's birthday, but this particular date was more special because i was already planning to go on a week-straight leave for my upcoming wedding, but instead, i found myself reporting for work because i had to attend three, yes three, occasions.


morning

ipa annual christmas party

in my hurry (because of the many things on my mind), i forgot the entire envelope of cutouts i had prepared for the design-a-christmas sock competition we had in the office!! i was so sad, because i really thought hard about my concept. i had to make a new one when i got to the office.
i brought yummy dolor's special sapin-sapin for the potluck. of course we had fun games and exchange gift.


afternoon

institutional christmas party

i thought that an about-to-wed woman was lucky at raffles, so i was excited about the prizes. sadly, the major prizes were won one by one, even my officemates won, but i did not. however, our office won a bottle of champagne for getting the most number of points in the per-table game of guessing christmas carol titles.


evening

shower by bridal party

my officemates have already prepared a shower for me earlier in the week, and it was the turn of the bridal party. i was so suprised that my high school and college friends got together to make me feel special! i love them to bits!! it was held at humanessence spa at west avenue, owned by she's friend. after the short program-cum-dinner, they treated me to a full-body massage! thanks girls! nadj stayed with me to have her own massage.

i came home around 1am that night. i was so tired, but happy. then i remember i had a lot more things to do for the wedding!! oh no, back to reality!

ipa summer outing

My officemates and I had our annual summer gimik a little earlier than usual. And what started as a joke slowly turned into tangible plans, as we decided to go to the summer capital! It was far, and expensive, but it will be worth it because three girls will be first-timers! How exciting!

Our boss did not join us, because she thought against taking her three kids with at least P2,000 budget for each of them. So six of us headed to Victory in Pasay on the night of May 2 with all our bags, ready for a night trip to Baguio!

I am proud of my officemates because they had the best sense of adventure any group could have. No tour guide or itinerary, just a printed-out map and a little research, lots of charm and lots of spirit! We went to almost every tour spot that a first-timer is supposed to go, and of course, took a crazy lot of pictures!


1) Baguio Botanical Garden. 2) Wright Park going to The Mansion


3) View Deck of Good Shepherd Convent, Mines View Park.
4) Oh My Gulay at La Azotea rooftop in Session Road.


5) Hanging out on our first night at the Ulat Residence. 6) Strawberry Farm (La Trinidad) Sunday morning (strawberries and onions on the left, the biggest lettuce on the right)


7) Going down from the Lourdes Grotto.
8) In front of Paliz'zata (we did not eat there, mahal eh... we just had mass at the Baguio Cathedral hehe)

We took the 10:40pm bus back to Manila, and snatched a couple hours sleep on Monday morning in the office. But what the heck! As early as now, we are already scouting for the venue of our gimik for next summer! I love you girls! Friends forever!

tag # 1

three months after my last post, and now i'm back! thanks to mia, who tagged me, so i can update this blog hehe.

mia asked me to write down six unimportant things about me. mee, ang hirap!!! it's hard pala to think of unimportant things! hehe

the rules: link to the person that tagged you. post the rules on your blog. share six unimportant things/habits/quirks about your self. tag 6 random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. let these random people know that they are tagged by leaving comments in their blog. let your tagger know when your entry is up.

1. i am the youngest of three girls. all of us are married already but i am the one staying with my parents.
2. i met hubby through a friend (former officemate) who was also his cousin. (the love story deserves another entry hehe)
3. i loooooooove sleep!!! it's the most precious thing in the world for me!
4. i have been working 7 years in DLSZ. yup, commute every single day. crazy.
5. i've been studying measurement and evaluation in up college of education since 2003, and all i have to complete is my thesis so i can get my degree. woohoo!! (per mrr na haha!)
6. i'm piscean. hmmm, but this info might be important to people who like astrology or something.

mee, i'll think of 6 people to tag pa ha.. hehe utang uli. thanks!

officially nadine ocampo diaz-lagahit!

december 22, 2007... i finally married my pig-out companion, movie-partner, text-and-ym-mate, my kakwentuhan, my kaharutan, my bestfriend...

we chose no less than my parish, national shrine of our lady of lourdes, for the 9am ceremony. the lunch reception was held at seameo innotech pearl hall.

all our family and friends were there to share the special day with us. thanks to everyone who helped make it a success! here's to a whole lifetime ahead!

food and traditions

You know how when you're in a certain place, you feel you have to be eating something specific, or you associate it with a particular food?

Since my childhood, our family has observed traditions in terms of food, such as the old The Swan bakeshop near Lourdes Church (where Skin Zen is located now) after Sunday mass, or whenever we passed by the old Coney Island store at Welcome Rotonda (where Jollibee is located now) I always ordered pistachio ice cream (of course it was just the one scoop cup and very seldom because that brand was very expensive then).

Now, I've developed my own traditions. Everytime we eat at Jollibee (the favorite Pinoy fastfood of all time!!), I most of the time order N3 meal (you addicts like me definitely know what the meal consists of! hehe), and if I feel like upgrading, I add regular fries with lots of ketchup and a sundae. When I'm at Randy's in UP, he always makes it a point to buy me lumpiang togue at his neighbor's tindahan (and lately he has added kwek-kwek, siomai, and RC Cola to the list). Before the fishball stands sprouted all around Metro Manila, it used to be only in UP where fishballs etc. were the safest to eat.

When I sleep over at my sister's house in Tandang Sora, I always request for ginisang kalabasa for ulam the following day. It has become a habit for me to bring donuts for pasalubong to my nephew and niece (when Ria was younger, she would say, "ONAT!!!")...I usually buy this at Mister Donut at the North Ave. MRT station. Sometimes I get them the repacked choco mallows or choco chip cookies. At Kanlaon, Sunday morning has become sweet corn-and-kakanin time for me and my parents...I always buy this after my 6-7am service, and we would talk about updates for the week while eating.

I'm sure you have your own food traditions to share. I can't wait to develop my own with my own family in the future.

close brush

It has been raining the past few days, so everyone should be careful on the road. Even Rands' kuya figured in an accident this week. I had my own experience too.

About two weeks ago, on my way home, I headed to the usual terminal in Alabang. There were already people waiting in line for the next bus, because the present bus was almost full ("Dalawa nalang!"), and they did not want to sit at the back. I thought, what the heck, I don't mind, so I got in. When I reached the back, there was a fellow employee from our school! It was sort of a pleasant surprise.

So the bus went on its way... The conductor started giving out tickets from the front, a lady stood at the middle for a "pangangaral", and a baby was crying softly... that was the last I heard before... you know, I fell asleep (as always!). I half-awoke when the bus ascended the skyway ramp and the conductor was two rows away from us ... then a few moments later, we heard something burst at the rear part of the bus. I felt the bus swerve abruptly to the left, and the women screamed... Suddenly, we were at a complete stop. The rear tire of the bus had burst.

I was jolted fully awake by this time, and my fellow employee looked a little shocked. "Buti nalang dala ko 'tong bigay ni Ms. Balgos," and he showed me a rosary dangling from his pocket. I also heard someone say, "Buti nalang may nangangaral dyan, abutan nyo kahit barya." Then we all got off the bus. When I reached the door, it was then that the situation hit me ... we were right at the edge of the skyway!

This part of the skyway had a "sidewalk-type" of structure, about one-foot wide, before the edge of the railing. According to some of the passengers, if we had been on the rightmost lane when the tire burst, there would be no other way for us but through the railings and down into the highway below, a good 30-40 feet!

I must admit my knees were shaking a bit while we were waiting for another bus to pick us up, but my fellow employee was a little more shocked than I was (because I was actually asleep when it happened), because he got off with me at Magallanes so he can take the MRT instead, "Parang na-trauma ata ako, pag nagbbrake, kinakabahan ako."

Divine intervention ... there is no other explanation for what happened. We were not even going fast enough for a big accident. A lady preaching the word, a baby that people in general consider as an angel, many passengers who are believers and some may actually be praying during that time... all of these saved us. I am quite lucky, there is no other explanation for it ... we were saved.

anecdotes

last saturday, my ex-officemate carlos' baby gabby celebrated her 3rd birthday at mcdo in front of sta. lucia. the party was 9-11am!! i had consultation for my practicum class; i came at 830am hoping to finish at 9, but our prof was late! we ended up arriving at the party at 1030am! i forced my nephews to join the games even before they can sit down to eat! randy and i called it "the 30-minute party" hehe. we had to leave at a little past 11am because there was another gown-clad little girl waiting for her princess party to start. it was short but sweet; sheila and i got to meet old friends again.

(in the picture, gabby is holding our gift right there! cutie girl!)

--- * ---

when we went to mass in up chapel yesterday, i was so touched by how the resident lector read the second reading (she was much better than how i read it during my service at lourdes that morning! hehe, feeling ba?), that i told randy that i want to approach her to compliment her. when the mass ended, she was still in the sacristy, but when we went to shopping center, she was there! so i mustered courage then i approached her.

nades: hello po.

resident lector: hi! (very pleasantly)

nades: ang galing nyo po magbasa.

resident lector: salamat. (then she advances to me seemingly for a hug, and I actually make her 'beso'!, innocently thinking that she is just really ma-chika)

resident lector: hanggang kelan ka dito?

nades: (omg, shucks! she mistook me for somebody, dyahe!) ay nagsimba lang po ako jan, sorry po. (ang dilim kasi sa may shopping eh!)

resident lector: ah. ok salamat. *walks away*

my good intention turned embarrasing experience...

---*---

last night, i watched return of the king on ch7 up to 1am, when i've seen it when it was shown at the cinemas! i chanced upon it last sunday when i came home late, and when they didn't finish it (there was a part2!), i had to see it. nakakaadik! *does anyone know why frodo had to leave the shire? hehe*

---*---

this morning, i got to experience one of my most eeeww moments! i was seated in a bus, between two males. this guy at the window seat spits out the window, and then i felt something... (you wouldn't want me to continue... i still shudder at the feeling. napamura talaga ako, then he goes "ay sorry", and takes out his towel, but i wouldn't dare let him wipe me with that!) this should teach everybody a lesson, to always bring wet wipes or tissue when traveling.

'official statement'

Hi. I’m sure you’ve heard of the news by now… I’m so sorry if it came as a surprise to you. I’m sorry also if I was unable to inform you about it. But we all know how hard last year was for me in terms of coordinating the training activities. But I wouldn’t have survived it without the help of very dedicated and concerned people, who have the same compassion for the ministry as I have. Thank you very much ____ for your support. Too bad not everybody appreciated the effort I exerted, and all they saw were the loopholes. I really had no intention to continue the position, and thankfully at the same time, I had a valid (and convenient, hehe) excuse that I was moving, which would make it more difficult for me to do coordinating work. What I did not intend though, was to disrupt the election process, because in the first place, I was not expecting to get into the top 8 after all the criticisms I have received. Again, please accept my humble appreciation for your guidance for the past year. I look up to the training team in terms of expertise, and I will also cherish the friendship you’ve shared with me..you accepted me for who I am, shortcomings and all. I am somehow relieved that I will leave the committee to the able leadership of ____ (although as of this writing, they have yet to meet as a group to decide on the positions). I hope that the politics that manifested during the elections will not linger in the group for the next year onwards. Good luck to everybody. I will still be an active member until I still can. Please extend the same support to the next training head as you did to me. Please don’t be mad at me. I hope we still continue to keep in touch, and remain friends.

be green for life!

Imagine this: Saving our forests from total denudation for just digging a few inches of soil? Or this: Preventing flashfloods and further global warming for just a short trek that can provide a thorough exercise? Or this: Preserving terrestrial ecosystems for just having fun with friends doing a worthwhile activity?

Seems impossible? Not really! A huge task like saving the environment really can be this easy and fun! Volunteers from different La Salle schools have proven this through the “Green for Life: Plant a Million Trees” Project. Launched in September 2006, the project aims to (1) provide a venue for more proactive responses to environmental issues via tree planting activities and reforestation programs that promotes the propagation and caring for indigenous species; (2) draw out mechanisms that will systematically involve the Lasallian Family in sustainable reforestation and greening efforts in close partnership and coordination with local communities; and (3) conscienticize the Lasallian Family and people belonging to the various partner communities on the importance of natural ecosystems such as forests through tree-planting and reforestation activities that promote a more practical “learning-by-doing” approach in environmental education. For five Saturdays, volunteers will target to plant 5,500 seedlings of endemic species before the end of 2007 in the 280-hectare restoration area in Mt. Palay Palay National Park in Maragondon, Cavite.

As if on cue, my professor cancelled classes on August 25, the schedule when DLSZ will be lead school for the treeplanting. Mymy and Arcy, officemates from IPA, were among the volunteers composed of day school and night school students, administrators, teachers, and other employees. I saw Wowee again, an old friend from Tugon Eco Camp in 2003. During the orientation, the volunteers were reminded to always proceed in pairs, do not leave trash in the mountain, sip water to avoid dehydration, among others. The trek was slightly slippery, but we were well equipped with rubber-soled shoes and even walking sticks from dried branches. At the site, holes in the soil have been dug already, we simply had to remove the seedlings from the plastic, put it in the hole and cover it with soil, detach the tag from the seedling, and tie the string to the bamboo pole beside it. (And throw the plastic in the trash bag!) I started to work on a seedling, digging the hole deeper, and really taking my time, uttering a mantra to my tree so that it will grow well. When I finished though, the other volunteers have covered the area until the side of the slope in a matter of minutes! I still carefully went down the steep slope, just so I can check whether the other trees were planted properly by the students. After all the seedlings have been planted, and after posing for a few posterity shots, the group trekked back down the mountain, just in time for lunch beside the clear-water stream.



My legs hurt all over the morning after, but I was fulfilled, knowing that I did my share for the environment. There are other ways; find one that will suit you best!

doppelganger?

In literature, a doppelganger (“double walker”) is the ghostly double of a living person, a sinister form of bilocation. I haven’t personally encountered anything like this, or even heard the word before in my life, until it actually happened to me! Eerie!

It was in November 2004 when I was still a classroom teacher. I filed for a whole day leave from work because I had to enroll in UP for my graduate classes for the second sem (Anyone who has ever studied in UP knows that enrollment takes one whole day, even more! Even with CRS and all!) I was already in the Benitez theater at around 4pm, waiting for my assessment, when a fellow teacher texted me something like “Nades, andito ka ba daw sa school ngayon?” To which I replied something like “No, why?” Then she said something that sent me shivers… at least three of my fellow teachers claimed to have seen me in school that day! I asked her to quit kidding, but she said she was also just as surprised.

The following day, when I reported back to work, my fellow teachers hugged me, and told me all about their experiences. The first one “allegedly” saw me at around 7:30 am (the time I usually come in) sitting on my desk looking at my reminders tacked to my divider. The second “sighting" was at past 12 noon, when almost all the teachers had gone down to the auditorium for a seminar. This teacher claimed that I walked past him and even “said” something like “Lika na, baba na tayo,” but cannot be sure what happened next because he said he merely replied “ok” without even looking up from what he was doing. The third one claimed she saw me in the seminar.

While I was listening to them, it sounded too fantastic, but they could almost swear that it really was me. Nothing bad actually happened, unlike in the literature that states that doppelgangers are premonitions of death or harbingers of bad luck. But what other explanation can there be? One teacher said that it was probably because I was so used to my routine for the past five months that when I took just one day off, my “spirit” did not “realize” that my body was not there but continued to linger in my regular work area! It seemed logical, but nevertheless eerie. They even kidded me to submit my experience to Nginiiig Files, and get paid for the story.

After that experience, I have made it a habit to inform all my officemates if ever I am taking a leave for a particular day. This may be a useful tip for everybody too, so that nobody will “think they saw you that day.” Awoooo!!

volunteers take a break

Remember in my previous post how I mentioned something about having been a PPCRV volunteer for the May 14 elections? All the hard work paid off after all! Our parish priest treated the volunteers from the parish to an outing to Subic last June 9! Woohoo!!

Sen suggested that I tag Rands along. She brought her baby Andrew too. Our first stop… Extreme Adventure! We were so excited to try the Slide for Life, but we had to wait for our turn because the harnesses and helmets were good for 20 people at a time only. I’m not really afraid of heights, so I didn’t feel dizzy or anything. The first slide was ok, the second was like my insides flipped!, and the third was the longest! It was fun! The trek back up was hot though.


With our shirts and hair drenched in sweat (eewww!), we got back in the bus to go to our next destination --- All Hands Beach! We had a greeeeeeat lunch (courtesy of Tess), and of course we had to take pictures of the view before getting ourselves wet. At around 3pm, merienda was again available…it was the life! Rands and I were together while the sun was setting, talking about future stuff. (mushy ba? hehe)

Rands made this amazing sand sculpture of a pawikan; Andrew and me




Shot before sunset; Nightshot of me

We left the beach at past 7pm and reached home 12 midnight. It was nice getting together with fellow volunteers from the parish, but what I enjoyed more was the company and concern of people who really mean a lot to me and whom I care for. Thanks Father Mon, for a wonderful (all expenses paid) time! (I was assigned the 6am mass the following day, Sunday, and he was also the priest presider!)

my summer 2007

Unlike last year, my summer this year was not as ‘grandiose’ so to speak, although of course it was made special by little trips with family and friends to different places.

april 29 (teambuilding with nsoll core team)


Derrick, Sen, Reg, Tess, Edna, Yen and I stayed overnight at this cozy house for our teambuilding. We barely had time to tour Tagaytay for our leisure, and the time for the program itself was not enough. But the following day, before going home, we had lunch at the Greek Tavern (oh dear, I hope I didn't mix it up with another resto!), where the owner (whose name skips me right now..) was very down-to-earth to the point of valet-parking your car for you (because, as he said, "I know my parking more.")



may 4-5 (ipa outing)

This year, we invited some friends from other offices to join us, and it was a better decision because we had more fun! Besides, it was a birthday celebration for five of them! We rented a private cottage at La Vista Pansol with its own small pool at the back. We had night swimming in the "Bukal," and the following day, we toured the resort's other facilities, which include a mini-zoo and native gazebos.



may 14 (ppcrv volunteer)

I was convinced by a friend to volunteer as ppcrv watcher in the elections. In our voting area, my precinct was the last as in literally the last one to finish in canvassing! I went home past 12 midnight, but I take my hats off to the young volunteers from the parish who stayed until the COCs were taken to the city hall. I sure hope many of the voting population exercised their right. It proved to be an election that was a far cry from the traditional politics the country has been experiencing in the past.



may 24 (family summer outing)

Since my dad had an operation, and my nephews were circumcised (haha :), we decided not to go very far for our summer outing. La Mesa ecopark was near and cheap and a nice alternative, with special rates for Quezon City residents and students. It is absolutely lovely, truly a refreshing break. Of course Randy joined us again as he does every summer outing that we have. There was swimming, fishing, biking, sightseeing of flower terraces, orchidarium, and the glorious La Mesa dam itself. One whole day was not enough, but we had to leave because the park closes at 5pm, and the rain started pouring at 4pm. We went straight to Trinoma, where we had dinner.




Maybe this summer really taught me that I need not go far to enjoy the company of family and friends. We can make the most out of every minute we spend with one another. (Besides, we can save a lot on transportation and travel time!) :) I hope your summer was fun. too!

renzo in antipolo

For the past few years, it has become my mom’s devotion to attend mass at the Antipolo Shrine every May 1 as part of the Feast of Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage. Part of the sacrifice was the travel by public transpo, the ultra heat, and sometimes standing amidst other devotees throughout the entire mass. I remember one year when Randy and I went with her, and last year when Ate Ricci and the two boys went with us. This year, it was the turn of Renzo and Ate Gigi.

We took a different route from the previous years (jeep from Cubao) because we had to meet them in Tandang Sora, so we got to walk inside UP campus, and to try taking the FX at Katipunan. Luckily we made the 11am mass, so we were able to get seats! We were all so hungry already because we skipped breakfast, but just the same, right after the mass we queued for going up to the image of the Lady at the top of the altar to touch her mantle. Had cameras been allowed, I would have taken a shot of Renzo’s little pudgy hand laying on top of the mantle! ;) Instead I took shots of him outside the church.



It was also a tradition for us to buy pasalubong at the covered court beside the church, and eat at a fastfood in the area. This year, we decided that we cannot possibly eat immediately and properly given that ALL the fastfood places were teeming with people, as in! So while Renzo joined lola in buying pasalubong, my sister and I headed to 7-11 to buy LARGE Slurpee (yummmm!) and sandwiches, just to last us until we reach Cubao in another hour or so. So we had our decent lunch-merienda at Pancake House at Gateway, and after a few hours of strolling, we headed home.

flashback: april 3, 1994

Part of my time is now devoted to church service. Not just the regular mass service as lector or commentator, but as coordinator of the recruitment and training committee of the ministry. A lot has happened since I became member of the committee last year, until now that the training for the second batch is ongoing. I cannot believe how much time and effort I actually spend in the ministry and for the committee. In spite of this, I am not complaining. I look around and I see more people who are more committed than I am. Committed in the sense that they prefer to be behind the scenes than in the limelight. For me that is what real service is about.

How did I become a lector and commentator at the National Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes in the first place? Not many people know the real story, so I thought I’d post it here. By the way, I had to dig into my boxes for my 1994 diary for the precise events that led to my joining the ministry (quoted verbatim, parenthetical italics were added for better understanding of the contexts of events 12 years ago):

3 Apr 1994
I had a very weird Sunday today. My gosh, I guess it had started even yesterday during the Lenten program ‘Paglalakbay sa Buhay Makulay’ (if I could just get a copy of the map to the Buhay Makulay!) It starred Duncan Ramos, Ray-An, Martin etc. It was about a boy who traveled through the colorful world (each color in the map meant something), but first had his sins cleansed, then brought his friend to the same experience. It all hit me, like if a kid like him could be convinced like that, I wasn’t far from being so! It brought me a lot closer to God. That was last night yet. This morning, we went to mass at 11AM. For the 1st time ever in my life, I wore slacks. Paired with sis’ purple rosed blouse. It was cool!

We arrived exactly 11 to find out that the 10AM has not even ended! But we (Dits, ma) made siksik to get seats for our mass which began at 11:20 already. Well, Peace part and I felt the air change. Our Father part and I felt dizzy. Nahihilong nasusuka at nae-LBM. My knees were really wobbling. I waited for the song to end. “May tao na ba sa bahay?” I looked at my mom and sister. I was about to fall, I swear. I held on to the pew. “Nahihilo ka? Wala pang tao dahil na kay Ate mo yung susi.” “Upo ka muna dyan.” Great! I needed to do something. Please! I immediately sat. Mommy dragged me out to fresh air. Dits stayed. I sat where paupers usually did just outside the church side door. While were walking out, my knees really collapsed; good thing I was holding on to mommy. But I didn’t black out. She wanted to bring me farther to a bench, but my knees couldn’t take me there anymore. I begged to stay. Mom allowed me to puke at the shrubs, I thought it was OK too because it was an emergency anyway. I was bowed down to force my puke, I was really worn out, my mom said I was ghastly pale, I was sweating all over, and my mom felt I was cold. I felt really weak, I swear.

I already felt people were looking at me, until this woman who sold sweepstakes handed mom Sanitary Balm. “Ipahid mo ito sa kanya.” She accepted. I wasn’t able to stare at her features; all I saw were her tickets and the ointment. She gave mom instructions on how to do it, but she thought mom didn’t do it quite right, so she did it on me. They had a little chat, but I don’t remember any of it now, if I ever heard any. Something about luck according to my mole, “naamuyan ito,” being inside the church. Her hands were light but they made precise movements. She massaged my nape and the area near my mole. Dits said she made circles with her fingers around my mole. I didn’t even feel it. I wiped my trickling sweat (down the side of my face) then my pukeing sensation was gone. I was still a little dizzy when she stopped. She asked me and I answered truthfully. “Mamaya mawawala na yan.” I was still not aware of my surroundings, so I did not see her after the PT (physical therapy). I heard my Dits though, “Ma bumili ka ng ticket in return.” “Oo sige.”

We did not finish the mass. We proceeded to the benches. I tried to look for the woman, and when I failed, it occurred to me that she might be some kind of ghostly reminder. But quickly dismissed the idea and instead thought I might find her later and buy a ticket as a sign of thanks. The mass was over and we waited, (some parts deleted) Mommy had to go somewhere, but we three looked for her first. Although we didn’t really look thoroughly, she was nowhere in sight. She should’ve been in sight where there were people because she was supposed to be ‘making a living ‘ selling tickets. But we didn’t find her. I wasn’t supposed to give up, but I wanted to go home and my head was still swirling. Walking home, my sister insisted that she was Jesus trying to tell me something, and she said only I knew what it was. On my part, I pitied the woman because she was just a mere vendor and my Dits put all sorts of silly representations into it. It’s not that I’m doubting, but what if it’s not? I haven’t proven it anyway. I wouldn’t believe until I thoroughly search the area and never find her at all. Maybe I’ll do that sometime. I’ll even do interviews about her, and if nobody else has seen her ever, she’s no ordinary vendor, just as Dits had concluded.

We went to Fuentebella (street in Timog area, house of my dad’s tito and tita) at 5PM to pay a visit. They were happy, we ate, then Lola Etta (she passed away a few years ago) told us many stories. She sat with us long enough to tell us her family’s history. (some parts deleted) I learned so much from her. She specified on values formation. And faith. Oh yes, I became emotional about the faith part. “Nilalang ako ng Diyos, kaya hindi Nya ako papabayaan.” “Magpasalamat tayo sa lahat ng bagay, lahat ay bigay Nya.” “Kumapit ka lang sa Kanya.” The couple has strong faith. They made mine stronger. (some parts deleted) On our Mayon (street/jeep terminal to our house) ride, 3 girls were talking about Bible verses. They were about my age, but they memorize a few Bible verses. I dunno their business, but I was touched that teenagers my age actually have time for the Bible! What is this, another point to persuade me? Three experiences in a day! Too amazing to be true! (the rest of the journal entry no longer relevant to topic..)

So forward to the present day… that was, I think, the turning point of my ‘faith’ life. That summer, I had just graduated from high school and was looking for a summer job, just as I had been doing for the past two summers. But that same year, almost two months after that decisive day, there was an announcement during Sunday mass that they needed lectors and commentators for our parish. I thought that this was another calling to me. So I applied. The rest, as they say… you know what they say..

resurrection, ala easter

I must apologize for not having posted for the past --- 4 months (has it really been???). Part of it was my thinking that nobody reads my site anyway! Haha. But really, it was mainly because I was SO BUSY. So busy is an understatement actually. I have never been so busy my entire life. Office work. School. Church duties. Personal stuff. Really.

However, the writer in me has been craving again… anything, just anything to write about. Anything to post. Anything. A few weeks after the end of the school year, yes, this is the perfect free time. By "free," I mean not too much work. By "not too much," I mean we can still eat lunch at 12:00 to 1:00, and leave at 5:00 pm.

Anyway, here I am again. Not to go back 4 months in time, but just to start over. After all, since it’s already summer, I expect to have more of this “free time.” I have to make the most of this… until June comes again, that is.

a weekend without cellsites and electricity

“Suppose someone has enough to live and sees a brother or sister in need, but does not help. Then God’s love is not living in that person.” - 1 John 3:17

Saturday, October 28, 2006

7am
It was a bright and beautiful Saturday morning, very conducive for conducting the simultaneous outreach activities of DLSZ teachers. Everyone met at McDonald’s ATC, armed with caps, shades, and cameras (plus their respective tools and goods), where different rides waited to take the participants to the various venues. Our group was among the last to leave… let’s ask Ralf why… ;)

So there we were, the chosen few… ten to be exact… Jay, Flu, Denise, Chetty, Pao, Lucky, Ralf, Ruby, Kyra, and I… on our way to one of the most memorable experiences we’ll ever have in our entire lives… to reach out to our brothers and sisters in Canumay, Antipolo.

10am
We were picked up at Antipolo church by the LSVP in a transportation that was more accustomed to the Canumay trail. Ms. Annie apologized for being late because… we were to find that out for ourselves later! The jeep’s appearance was just a preview!

That jeep ride was something!! Let’s just say it can give the Space Shuttle in Enchanted Kingdom a run for its money, with the airiness of Flying Fiesta, the side splashes of Jungle Log Jam (not of water, but mud!!), and the bumps of Dodgem, all minus the safety strap! When we reached the ascending parts of the mountain, the pahinantes braced the wheels with chains for better grip on the mud. In parts when the wheels were stuck in deep mud, they tied a rope to a tree a few meters away and it was attached to a pulley in front of the jeep. They even had to put down the covers on the side windows for the mud splatters! Ms. Annie sat coolly in front while we screamed at every surge because it meant that we had to hold tight to the bars and on to our bags… we were like eggs being thrown around inside the basket!

We finally reached Pagsiko, which was the ‘jeep terminal’ before the trek down to Canumay. My whole body felt sore, but we were only halfway.

1pm
We started walking with all our bags and boxes. I trailed the group because I wanted to walk slowly but surely, focusing on my feet. But when I looked up, I realized that I was missing the lovely view! The hills and fields were green, the breeze was light, and the sun was shining gently. It was my first time to walk through pilapil. After what seems like hours, we reached the LSVP quarters, where the other LSVP volunteers welcomed us. My shirt was literally drenched in sweat, and my shoes were caked in mud.

We literally pounced on the lunch that was waiting for us. My whole body, especially my legs, was trembling from exhaustion. We were lagging behind schedule, so we had to forego a few minutes of rest. Our respective small groups were ready for our activities.

2pm
Chetty, Pao, and Lucky stayed in the quarters to convene the community leaders, while the rest of us proceeded to the basketball court with the kids. (Not another stretch of walking!) Flu, Ruby, and I handled the grade school kids, while Jay, Denise, Kyra, and Ralf spent the afternoon with the pre-school kids.

In the basketball court a few kilometers away, it was full of activities infused with values and lots of fun learning -- story-telling, coloring, singing, dancing, and games. The kids were given prizes of candies and cookies. We discovered that the kids of Canumay were smart, active, talented, and cheerful.

After the activities, we caught our well-deserved rest. We also started talking about our program for the ‘cultural night.’ Then we were one by one brought to our respective foster families. Jay was right when he said that we were not like next-door neighbors – the houses were far from one another! There were houses uphill, far down the road, and farther up beyond more ricefields!

6pm
I was somehow relieved that my family lived right behind Ruby’s. When I arrived, it was almost dark, but people were still outside nagbabayo ng bigas in the common area. One of them was Kuya Willy, the head of my foster family. Inside the house, Lovely, his wife, greeted me warmly. She was already preparing supper, and I wanted to help but it was so hard groping in the dark, with only a small gasera to provide light to the entire house, but Love was so used to it already. I saw another small flicker of light in another room, and I heard a faint crying. Then I realized that there was a baby! Instead of getting in Love’s way in the kitchen, I picked up the crying baby instead. He had colds which made him feel uncomfortable. Later, I helped their two older sons pick grains of palay from the bigas that Kuya Willy had brought in. Imagine doing that with just a small source of light, which you should finish in a few minutes because you will have to cook that for supper.

My foster family
Lovely was 24, Kuya Willy was 35. She was a housewife, he was nagkakaingin. She was originally from Pangasinan, and his family had lived in Canumay eversince. They had been married eight years.

They had three boys: Daboy was five. He was what Love would call matapang and matigas ang ulo. JR, four, was also fondly called Ping, short for pingkiw, because he fell two different times when he was younger and either broke or dislocated both his arms. The most the hilot could do was repair them a little bent to the back. The youngest, Moises, was two months old.

We were told that volunteers had to eat whatever the family served. Fortunately, that night, we had something that I was already used to eating… kalabasa. Over supper, they openly shared with me how their life was, their past, some valuable lessons. After eating, I informed them of the cultural night, but then I realized that I could not force them to join me because of baby Moises. I decided to stay with them in the house. They borrowed an extra katre from a neighbor, where Love, the baby, JR, and I slept under the kulambo, while Kuya Willy and Daboy occupied the other one.

As I lay down, I heard voices from the hill, and thinking that it was the other volunteers and their foster families holding the cultural night, I dozed off…


Sunday, October 29, 2006

2am
I woke up shaking from chill, with no idea what time it was. I remembered how Love reminded me to put on my jacket because it got very cold at night. Since I could not get it from my bag without waking up the baby, I just drew up my blanket tighter.

After that, I woke up probably every hour. The baby was starting to be a little fussy, crying every now and then, and Love would breastfeed him. JR wanted to pee, and before I knew it, the roosters were crowing and I could see light from the cracks on the walls. Love got up to prepare water for coffee. Kuya Willy would be up in a while to leave for kaingin.

I was still in bed when Jay called out to me. They had come for Ruby and me to go to the falls, which we had been planning the day before. While I was preparing, Love said that I must have been really tired from the trip because I was snoring in my sleep! Oh dear, how embarrassing! After a few minutes, Ralf was calling out, so I left without any breakfast.

7am
We met up at the LSVP quarters again, but the others were not able to join us. Flu’s foster sister, Buday, was our guide to the falls. With my legs hardly recovering from the day before, we were again walking, but this time, the trail was more slippery because of the rain that night. Finally, Jay, Ralf, Lucky, Flu, Ruby, and I reached the mini falls. After about an hour of bathing and taking pictures, we headed back.

We returned to our respective families for breakfast or help in the house or pack up. I asked Love where I can take a bath. She said they did so in the poso in the common area… But she offered the nearby common toilet, which had three walls of hollow blocks, and one side covered with sako… with a half-foot gap and which fluttered everytime the wind blew! I got water from the poso and hurriedly took my bath, before the goat grazing nearby decides to charge into the toilet! After packing up, I asked Love to join me to the LSVP quarters for the processing activity, so I can give her the small token we have prepared. Since she also wanted to ask for medicine for the baby’s colds, she left her baby to a young neighbor because Kuya Willy had gone to kaingin, and her two sons wanted to go with us.

9am
It started to rain as the volunteers arrived with their foster parents, so we decided to hold the processing activity inside the quarters. Since two of us were not able to attend the cultural night, we introduced our foster families first. We shared our insights and experiences in our foster houses, and our hosts shared their observations and opinions about the volunteers. I was touched that Love specifically told the group how I was helping around the house. (in the photo you see her speaking, and on the floor is JR)

We started our trek back. It was still raining so the road was more slippery than the day before. There were ‘casualties’ again this time (read: people who slipped on slippery slippers), which includes me… two times at that!! When we reached Pagsiko (I was again among the last), another horrifying jeep ride was waiting for us.

1pm
Our panicky screams again filled the jeep as we passed through waist-deep soft mud almost half of the trip. We stopped over at the river for a soothing wash of our muddy shoes and pants.

Not after being tumbled and tossed in the jeep, we finally saw a glimpse of Antipolo Church again. We had a takeout lunch and freshening up, before proceeding to the DLSZ van (were we so relieved to see Kuya Robert!), but I joined the group only until Guadalupe.

When I was walking up to the MRT, I came across a small puddle of mud, and it instantly caused me to freeze in my tracks! Then I realized that I was no longer in Canumay, but in EDSA. Every muscle in my body hurt while I tried to go up each step to the station, then I remembered one of the thoughts raised in the processing that morning – that we from Metro Manila are no different from them in Canumay, that we all go through our respective difficulties everyday of our lives. It does not follow that we from Metro Manila are ‘better off’ than them in all aspects -- it’s more on how much we value what we have, such as our family, our neighbors, having a dignified source of income. Given their simple lives, they welcomed us wholeheartedly into their homes, offered us whatever they had, went out of their way to accommodate us. The short time that I spent with the people of Canumay taught me to go back to basics, to give up a few conveniences, to cherish conversations, to exercise by walking, to enjoy nature… things that I would normally ignore in my fast-paced routine in Metro Manila. But in Canumay, these are treasures. As we attempted to sing as an offering (but dismally failed!) to our foster parents during the processing activity…

Thank you for teaching me how to love
Showing me what the world means
What I've been dreamin' of
And now I know, there is nothing
that I could not do, Thanks to you

For teaching me how to feel
Showing me my emotions
Letting me know what's real from what is not
What I've got is more that I'd ever hoped for
And a lot of what I hope for is
Thanks to you

No mountain, no valley
No time, no space
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can stop me from believing
That my love will pull me through
Thanks to You

For teaching me how to live
Putting things in perspective
Showing me how to give and how to take
No mistake we were put here together
And if I breakdown forgive me but it's true
That I'm aching with the love I feel inside
Thanks to you, Thanks to you

(Thanks to you by Tyler Collins)